Tuesday, March 15, 2011


Sometimes, the past becomes the present...
this weekend we said our goodbyes to Doug Spies 
and helped each other mend some wounds that needed to be bound.
I was married to Doug Spies for 10 years and out of that marriage came two beautiful daughters and three amazing grandchildren.
The marriage was hard. 
But I thank God and praise Him for all of it. 
God taught me much during those difficult years and I believe there was a purpose in it all.
During those years Doug gave his life over to Christ and found some peace... but it was hard for him to hold onto it. 
Doug could not let go of the past. The Viet Nam war overshadowed his life and robbed him of all that he loved most. 
You see Doug accepted Christs forgiveness but he did not accept his own forgiveness. He couldn't step into that freedom from the past that Christ was offering him.
God loved Doug.
God loved Doug so much he sacrificed himself for him when Doug was yet in sin, and then promised never to leave him. 
When God put His  spirit in Doug, the Holy Spirit sealed Doug for eternity. Doug became an eternal being. No matter where Doug was physically or emotionally God was there.
In Romans it says that the same spirit that raised Christ from the dead dwells in us and gives life eternal. If you believe in Christ Jesus and ask Him to dwell in you, you are an eternal being. You bring heaven with you!
When God looked at Doug he saw Christ's perfection, he saw the finished and perfected Doug. He found no fault in Doug.
I find no fault.
If Christ can forgive me all my selfish acts than how can I not forgive others. How can I not forgive Doug. Some things are hard to understand. If I trusted God with my life how could I be in a marriage that threatened my very existence?
Looking back now, I see the hand of God protecting, healing and loving me and my children. 
Yes, and loving Doug. At the time I just held on to the Lord and He gave me contentment and joy. He took me to another place and gave me peace.
As for forgiveness, it is simply a choice. It is choosing no matter what our feelings are trying to scream out. It is a choice no matter what our mind tries to reason. Forgiveness is saying, I forgive and letting God do the rest... sometimes over and over and over.
I choose to love and move on and keep giving it all to my Savior, my friend.
One of my favorite bible verses is Romans 8:38
In all things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us,
For I am persuaded that neither death, nor life, or angels, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height. nor depth, nor any other creation, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus. our Lord.
Doug now is more than a conqueror, he is surrounded by the love of the Father and has found his place with Christ in the Heavenlies.

Thank you so much to all of you who left words of support and comfort.



  1. I am so sorry for your loss and your children's loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

  2. I hope he is finally at peace. Viet Nam was a terrible war that effected so many. I remember in high school guys talking about the terrible things over there. Hope you and you family now have peace also. judy

  3. Such a beautiful remembrance of someone so much a part of you and your family. Blessings...

  4. Beautifully and lovingly put, dear Rebecca. Hugs and blessings and prayers for peace for you and your family.

  5. Sorry for your loss! My prayers are with you and your children.

  6. So sorry for your loss, your words are so profound.

  7. Forgiveness is a choice and you chose the best!! Blessings to you and to your family! And peace during this time of loss.

  8. Rebecca,
    This must be a most difficult time for you. I am so sorry if you are hurting. I pray that you can find peace and joy in this life through Jesus' love.


  9. Hello Rebecca, I am so sorry and I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter's father. What a beautiful post. I will have you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs, Terri

  10. Beautifully written Rebecca, your gentle Christian spirit shines through in your words. My prayers are with you and your family during this difficult time, may God comfort your hearts and give you peace. So very sorry for your loss.


  11. Dear Rebecca,
    I am so thankful that God is a forgiving God.And I am thankful that He helped me to forgive others. And now, Doug can know that peace and forgiveness too. Can you imagine? What it will be like?
    My sympathy to you and your daughters. Our trials are a testing of our faith. It just keeps making us stronger everyday.
    Blessings to you and your family.

  12. Rebecca,
    You have found beautiful thoughts and words during a difficult time...thank you for sharing. I am sorry for your loss. Trials in my own life led me to a stronger relationship with God. It's always comforting to know that others have faced adversity and found and given forgiveness through those times.

  13. So beautifully spoken. God bless you and your family at this time.

  14. This is a wonderful tribute, and you share Christ's love and forgiveness beautifully :-)
    I'm so sorry for your family's loss.

  15. so sorry for your lost, I hope your family finds peace in the day to come.


  16. Hello Rebecca
    I am sorry for your loss and your childrens loss.
    I hope you find peace and joy together in times to come.
    Blessings to you all.


  17. Thank you for your beautiful testimony. God bless you and your family.

  18. So beautiful Rebecca. I am now learning about my walk with Jesus. It is amazing isnt it? God bless you and your family.

  19. I am sorry for your loss and for your daughters also.

    War is a terrible thing and it has hurt so many marriages when they return and just cannot adjust. It is still going on today and you wonder if it will ever end. God bless you all.



  20. Hello My sweet one!
    I have just spoke to you on the phone...you know I love you and will always be here for you whenever you need an ear.
    I also know how exhausted you are after this weekend. Please take time to deal with all you and the girls have had to deal with.
    I am so thankful for the healing that has happened through this!
    God is so...good!
    Hugs and kisses!

  21. Dearest R.E.,
    I've struggled all day to come up with the right words and I still cannot say what I want to. My heart and prayers go out to you and for you.
    War is an ugly business and sadly there are walking casualties who never recover from the devastation of it. My daddy was one. They are young men and women who lose their innocence in combat. It breaks my heart to see them leave, knowing they won't come back the same person. In a way they bring the war home with them to be fought over and over. Bless you and your loving heart for forgiving him when he couldn't. You have a strength of character that can only be found through a true love of Christ and your armor shines.
    I will hold you and your sweet family in my heart. You are in my prayers.
    Love always,

  22. Rebecca,

    You are such a gentle spirit. I am so sorry for the loss of your girls' father and a part of your life. Thank you for sharing this with us.


  23. You say it so well. Your words are perfect..
    Very inspiring message.. Thank You Karryann

  24. Such a beautiful post dear Rebecca. All truth. We belong to the One who loves us.
    sending hugs...

  25. Grace, sweet grace...this post says it all...praying for your tender heart and your girls...

  26. lovely, moving and so well said. Blessing to your family


  27. We are more than conquerors...sooner or later...in Christ. Rejoicing for the peace that Doug has finally found.
    Blessings on those left behind...for now

  28. My condolences to you and your girls.

    God Bless,


  29. My sympathy for you and your beautiful daughters. This post brings a lump in my throat and tears to my eyes. I'm so sorry for your loss.

    I'm a 70's girl and remember some of the war issues. Vietnam war was such a hard one as so many of our men were betrayed when they returned home. Where else were they to go? I know men who went there and to this day do not talk about it. I'm sure our loving and gracious God has his arms wrapped around Doug and is saying to Doug "well done, my good and faithful servant."

    Cindy Bee

  30. Hi Rebecca,

    Sending my love and prayers to you and your family at this time. So beautifully written and many blessings to you all.


  31. Truly the words (of) a Woman of GOD. May your days of pain be few.
    Praying for you and your Girls
    Psalm 71:14-15

  32. Beautiful post Rebecca. Forgiveness lifts so much of the burden.


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